Being able to establish good conversation with a girl is skill worth having, but it’s not enough. You have to hone this skill into helping you win a girl over. It’s not too difficult and can be achieved with a few simple techniques and reminders.

1. Don’t Ask Too Many Questions When talking to a girl, don’t interrogate. You want her to feel at ease with you so don’t make her feel like she’s being interviewed. You can ask questions, just not too many. Do ask her what she likes and point out things you have in common. Expound on these similarities and give some input of your own. This helps her relate to you.

2. Show That You’re Worthwhile This may sound like bad advice, and it’s hard to pull off without looking like your bragging. In the humblest way possible, talk about some of your achievements. Say something like: “That story reminds me of the time I climbed Mt. Everest. I don’t tell many people this story, but…” Telling her something you don’t tell many people shows two things: one, you don’t brag about the achievement and two: she’s special enough to be told. Remember, don’t be afraid to show a girl you’re passionate for a good cause. This shows your worth and quality as a person and is a sure way to win a girl!

3. Smart & Funny Stories Talk about some short and interesting stories you know. Don’t lie. Make sure they’re true as you don’t want to be caught in a lie later on. If you can make the stories smart and funny, delivering them in an entertaining manner then you’re set! A great way to win a girl over is to make the story about something she’s interested in. It will lead to other avenues for good conversation.

4. Ask a Hypothetical Question This is always a winner. Ask the girl a hypothetical question. Don’t choose anything awkward like “Would you rather be a pig or a duck?” or anything lame like that. Make your question story like. Create a detailed scenario that’s engaging and fun. This shows your personality, and her answer will reveal a bit of hers. Grill her on her answer and expound from a detail off it. This is definitely a good conversation.

5. A Possible Closing Statement After you’ve done all of the above or some of it, and it’s the end of the night, win a girl over by delivering a closing statement. Make it part compliment to show your interest in her and that you felt you had a good conversation. Say something like “You know, there’s just something about you that’s so magnetic. I can’t put my finger on it, but I will.” This line can be a good closing statement, but I call it a possible closing statement because it can also lead to a new conversation and eventually making arrangements for more to come!

To win a girl over with good conversation is something that needs a bit of practice, but can definitely be done. It’s a good start to a new relationship, and a great way for you to know what you’re getting into as well.

Being single means different things to each of us. For some it is a way of life. For a small minority, it is the way we always will be. For most of us, its is a constant battle with optimism. Hope springs eternal they say. We weren’t designed to spend our lives alone. For the solitary monk it may be a life of dedication but for us mere mortals, its is a state of being that we hope is temporary.

Being single is not easy. It means first of all that we are daily responsible for every decision we make. We can’t share decision making because there is no one close enough to share things with. We trust our friends but we will not have formed as close a bond as we do in a long term personal relationship. Therefore it us up to us to decide what we do each day, whether we go to work, what we will have for dinner, where we will go at a weekend, what we do on vacation and where and how we socialize.

When we get home in an evening there isn’t anyone there (which is why so often we have cats and dogs) to welcome us. We prepare dinner alone (or don’t bother), run a bath, take a shower and generally live a solitary existence punctuated by our social life and friends as well as work routine. One of the primary issues about being single is not being able to discuss things on our mind when we want to. In social circles we can to an extent and we may call up friends on the phone but this lacks the deeper understanding and compassion we receive from a close partner in a relationship.

We like to play ideas off each other, discuss, talk, think aloud and have pillow talk about the future. All of this is missing when single. Occasional dates or romantic encounters may provide passing closeness but in effect we remain single still. There is something interesting on the TV, but we won’t chat about that until we are at work. We have an ailment that worries us, who do we discuss that with? There is an issue with a person at work, what should we do. Friends and family play their part but they don’t fill that singleness we are likely to feel.

Cooking for one is a painful experience. What is the point of cooking a nice meal if there is no one to share it with. There is a great movie but we will watch it alone. We need to go shopping and get something new for the apartment but we are going to have to do without the fun of deciding together. Then of course there is sex. Sex-for-one is well known to most singles but its generally not what we were designed for.

Close relationships offer companionship, understanding, empathy, friendship as well as love and romance and without them, we are pretty much left to our own devices to fill that void. When we are younger there is so much to focus on that it may not be such an issue but as we get older we begin to discover that visiting the wonders of the world alone is deeply dissatisfactory.

Being single is a heightened sense because our society emphasizes couples. From meals for two in the grocery store, to paying for single supplements in hotels; much is set against the single person. Why do we pay extra for a single bed when on vacation? The we have our friends who are in couples which does much to heighten our sense of singledom. Dinner parties mean we are excluded due to not having a partner, or we are matched up with some geek we have little in common with by friends desperate to pair us off.

Adult society in the West is made up of approximately 33% single people and this is increasing at a remarkable rate. Admittedly in many areas of the service industry, singles are being seen as a new market and opportunities to cash in on single life are steadily coming into the market place. But again it emphasis a state of play we may not wish to be reminded of. When we set off outdoors on a weekend we will encounter many many couples along the way and we find ourselves wondering what it is about them that got them together when we are total treasures that no one appears to discover?

Therefore being single means being optimistic. It means keeping positive in the face of adversity. That adversity manifests itself through the thought in the back of our heads that whispers ‘what if..’. What if we meet someone tomorrow, what if we spend out lives alone and never meet anyone again, what ever we never fall in love, what if no one actually likes us, what if we were meant to remain single. And it is this whispering that we fight to keep at bay daily by fighting to remain optimistic.

Optimism comes from the general knowledge that most of us will meet someone, we will find Mr. or Miss Right soon enough. But as we get older, we start to worry, even start to silently panic. If we are to meet our perfect match it has to happen before we are too old. We would like it to happen whilst we are still young enough. And as anyone in their 30′s appreciates, as we get older , so time speeds up. In our twenties, time seemed endless. But as the wrinkles in the corner of our eyes demonstrates, one day we wake up and we are older, much older. And we are still single.

Being single is to an extent a triumph,. It means we have avoided the disappointment of dating disasters, wrong choices, and loneliness within a terrible relationship. It means we still have our own choices and our own sense of direction. We have the full sense of self determination and control over destiny. But at the same time it wears us down. It may be hard to admit, but the vast majority of us don’t like being single. In fact we hate it.

We hate it because we don’t get to share. We don’t get to make happen the sharp image in our head of the perfect relationship we know is possible with the right partner. We have a never ending well of ‘giving’ that so far has been ignored. We want to give and we want to please. We wish to love and we want that opportunity. We are ready and willing but we are not allowed. Its almost like being in an isolation cell in prison. Being single heightens our sense of the need to give and it heightens the sense of frustration accordingly.

Being single isn’t a cornfield full of casual sex, boozy nights, general lack of responsibility and carefree existence over the age of 25. Its a burden that many of us carry. Through failed relationships we have built up a mental list of the things we will never accept again in a relationship and at the same time it provokes and overpowering explanation of what we really do hope for. Being single isn’t about choices, it is about circumstances. We know that had we been a certain place, had a certain life, then we probably wouldn’t be single. But where we find ourselves today means that we are. Well we are for the time being.

By dating we keep our hopes alive. We realize that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And whilst the most recent suitor may not have been the one for us, at least we are heading in the right direction. And that’s how many of us cope with being single. We do everything we can to keep our hopes alive. We convince ourselves that being single is by choice and that we are just waiting to meet the right one. And that’s true, that’s exactly what we are doing. But the ‘what if’ whispers away. Our body clocks may tick louder, our hair may thin, but we KNOW we will get there in the end. We hope.

Being single means living with a sense of frustration that little else can match. We don’t have the answers as to why we are alone. We even ask ‘why me?’ This isn’t how we have envisaged our lives, this isn’t how we saw our future. So why has it happened? What went wrong. Where did we go wrong? Where are all the nice guys and girls. Maybe they have all been snapped up. Maybe there simply aren’t any and we are fooling ourselves. Then we remind ourselves of the few examples of great friends in great relationships and this provides us with the temporary proof we need. And then we begin to question ourselves further. We may even question our own judgment, wondered if we have missed our best opportunity to be in a good relationship. Maybe we are simply too choosey? Maybe it really is all our fault. But of course it isn’t.

When vacations and national holidays and Christmas or Thanksgiving come along, then we are reminded heavily just what being single feels like. On Valentine’s day we are also reminded that we are yet again this year solitary creatures. However this year will be different. We feel it. We have our sights set one on or two potentials and who knows where things may lead. Who knows, by Christmas we could be engaged.

Married people often think the grass is greener on the other side. People in bad relationships dream of the freedom of being single. I have been told many times that I don’t know how lucky I am to be single. The next time someone says that to me, I will go over and stick my finger in their eye and remind myself indeed how lucky I am that I decided to do that..all by myself.

When we are actively dating we sometimes forget what the end game is all about – relationships. We can forget why we are dating in the first place and what we hope to achieve. The result of this is that when we finally meet someone we like and spend time with them and start falling in love, we panic. This doesn’t just apply to the archetypal male, but to women too. Yes getting involved is scary stuff. Remember this why you are dating in the first place. The end result of dating is a relationship, maybe a long term one, maybe a relationship even leading to marriage. Therefore take your time and get it right.

We can argue all day about when dating becomes a relationship. Maybe after 3 months, maybe after sex. Maybe after meeting their parents, even after moving in together. For some a relationship begins at engagement, for others it occurs the moment the other party agrees to see them again. It doesn’t matter. One day, we all accept that today we are in a relationship. Okay what should we do to sustain it?

Communicate

Talk to each other. Talk a lot, and keep talking. The first thing that goes wrong in any relationship is a change in communication. Simply put, people stop trying and relax. People in relationships stop communicating (gradually) and this quickly turns into taking your partner for granted. Fact. When your better half comes home from work talk to them about whatever they like, even if you are tired. And the 100% rule of thumb is always always ALWAYS look at your partner when you are listening and talking. I have seen this more than I can ever describe, one person in a relationship talking, the other repeatedly saying yes whilst looking somewhere else. If you want your relationship to remain fresh, interesting and inspired, communicate on every level.

Enjoy Yourselves

Have fun in relationships as though you were on a first date. Being with someone is fun, exciting, interesting and loving. Just because you have been seeing each other for a while makes no difference at all. Fun is fun, whatever the age, you should be laughing and having great time even if you have been together 40 years, so coming home and stating that you are tired and dreary every day won’t wash. You were not like that when you began to date so keep it alive by constantly finding ways to have fun together. Laughter heels a lot of ills and at the end of the day, you are together because you enjoy each other’s company. That should never change.

It Takes Two to Tango

Relationships are not one sided affairs but a commitment and agreement between two people to want to share their space, time, company and lives together. If you are not married you are not obliged to do this with anyone at all so if its not working out don’t hang about. If it is working out then make sure that you both keep putting into the relationship and investing in your joint well-being. As long as you are both involved in your relationship it will work. The problem arises where one feels it is simply too one sided. So always take a rain check every now and again to ensure that you are both as fully committed as you should be.

We are Not the Same

Accept that you are not the same people, neither clones of each other. You have separate interests , hobbies, emotions and moods. Be empathetic and sympathetic to each other as well as giving each other the regular space they require without too much questioning. Just because you have come together for your common good doesn’t mean that you don’t need an afternoon off occasionally and neither does it mean that you love each other any less. Ensure you retain your space and special time and activities and retain your self identity as needed. If this causes a problem you guys need to talk.

People are Human

No one in this world is prefect. No one, not even me! Ha ha, seriously, when we meet someone we like and we begin our relationship we may well have set high standards and that is fine, but human beings have lots of strange quirks and foibles and ways of doing things. Not everything will meet with your approval and mot every element of behavior will be perfect. We don’t like in an ideal world and we don’t live in fantasy land. Difficult relationships are absolutely normal and understanding that is the key. We all begin by dreaming that everything will be perfect and then something happens that upsets us. Take this in your stride. Accept it and move past it. Loving someone is about everything in life, not just about idealistic romance.

Arguing May Be Healthy

One of the problems in relationships isn’t just the lack of communication that can develop, but the retention of problems inside that are allowed to build up and then release uncontrollably. If there is a problem we should talk about it. Personally I hate arguing and it is not part of my ideal relationship view. However there is a great deal to be said for having a good shout and a good argument. It releases frustrations and discontent and quickly brings things to the fore. We release our frustrations and suddenly we are communicating. Stress is released and we feel better. And in any relationship the best thing about an argument is the afterwards where we feel emotional, sorry for getting angry, and we make up in the most passionate of ways.

Keep Having Sex

How many times have you heard that married people don’t have sex. We don’t have the room here to discuss the vast reasons why, but boredom and complacency often creep in. Lack of creativity, over familiarity and routine are all concerns and causes. A married friend once told me that he and his wife don’t have sex for 6 months and when they finally do it feels like they are new lovers again. This last for another 6 months then they stop again. A cycle that has gone on for 7 years! Sexual compatibility is very important in a relationship. If you don’t match in the bedroom you are kidding yourselves and ultimately you may have longer term problems. To keep a relationship going well, make sure that you do not neglect the bedroom – and anywhere else for that matter!

Don’t Change

Keep dating your partner and keep the romance alive. Love them like you just met the,. Surprise them constantly and buy flowers when you want to. Little notes and gifts are important as is attention and time spent with each other. Whilst you may both have regular commitments that is absolutely no excuse not to call spontaneously or to make breakfast in bed for your partner unexpectedly. Whilst people naturally do change over longer periods of time, it is down to both of you to keep the passion alive and to do so you do need to make the dating effort. So my advice is keep dating your partner and make them feel freshly loved.

Relationships Take Work

Yes, don’t fool yourself. You parents may have been married for 40 years but that doesn’t mean that I has been easy. They will often say that relationships and marriages take a lot of work. What they mean is a great deal of understanding, compromise, negotiation and overcoming of problems and difficulties along the way. Making time for each other is essential as are shared experiences, vacations and simply being there. Making your relationship a priority in your lives is also absolutely essential. Often this will mean putting yourself second and taking a back seat. It may mean that your choices aren’t a priority and that you won’t always be first. Solid relationships are about compromise and acceptance so don’t underestimate what that means. Nothing worth having ever came for free.