Even though she’s clad in all black and adorned with skulls and spiders, a Gothic girl has a special place in her heart for romance. It takes a special touch and a special person to win a Gothic girl’s heart. Black candles and myrrh incense will help, as will these simple tips.

Step 1: Bring her dead flowers, or at least black ones. Most florists would be overjoyed to hook up a special order of a dozen black roses infused with grayish-blue baby’s breath.

Step 2: Plan romantic outings, like a picnic in the cemetery or an excursion out to an abandoned farm or condemned apartment buildings.

Step 3: Set the scene for a sexy evening by lighting black candles, myrrh incense and flipping on some deep, haunting cello music.

Step4: Write a dramatic yet heartfelt poem about how you’d die for her and how everyone should die, period.

Step 5: Offer to help with her chores, like picking up her vampire cape or eighteenth-century corsets from the dry cleaner.

Step 6: Accept her the way she is and love every minute of it.

Other special gifts include skulls, crossbones, bats and spiders. You can do well on post-Halloween sales to stock up on gifts to give her throughout the year.

Don’t pretend to be a Goth if you’re not comfortable with it just to appease her. But do convert if it feels right.

Let her be herself when she meets the parents.

Never make fun of her makeup, hairstyle or wardrobe.

Never try to change her.

Just because you aren’t Gothic doesn’t mean you can’t be with a guy who is–he’s just like anyone else. You may look at your girlie clothes and pretty hair and think there’s no way your Gothic crush would be attracted to you, but unless you try you don’t know for sure.

Be yourself. Don’t try to change your appearance or attitude to match what you think he’d like you to be. If he isn’t into you for who you really are, find someone else who is.

Approach him easily without coming on too strongly. Ask him what book he’s reading or what music he’s listening to–something to start a conversation. Casually say hello when passing him in the hallway or smile at him in class.

Find something you have in common, such as a class or a hobby. This gives you something to talk about while you get to know him, and gives you an excuse to be where he is, like the soccer court or record store.

Treat the guy as an individual, not just another stereotypical Gothic male who hates everything. Find out what type of person he is aside from the black nail polish and trench coat.

Ask him out. After you talk to him a few times and find out what he’s into, ask him to go to a concert or hang out at a favorite café or park. Meet him where he’s most comfortable, even if it’s with his entire group of friends, to make him feel less intimidated. Eventually you can bring him into your world too and see how you two work together.

Talk to him. Realize he’s just a person and just like any other guy. Don’t be afraid to just say hi and introduce yourself and see where it goes.

Avoid asking a guy out just because he’s Gothic. Get to know him as a person to find out if your personalities mesh well together.

Goths
Goth is a subculture that has been popular in many countries for over two decades (and many people would say much longer). Some believe that the goth scene originated in the early 1980s in the United Kingdom, as a result of musical groups such as Siouxsie and the Banshees, the Cure and Bauhaus. Goths occupy a tight-knit community, and you will often find Goths dating fellow goths.

Benefits
One great way to meet fellow goths to date is perhaps by going to Gothic gig or nightclubs. Even if there isn’t an exclusively goth nightclub in your area, it’s highly likely that some of the clubs in your area will host a weekly goth night. If you are in high school or college, you might be able to come across other goths at school for dating, but it will be a lot easier to find dating partners if you have more people to choose from. Another good place to meet goths for dating is at gothic fashion stores such as Hot Topic.

Considerations
Use an online service. The Internet offers many free dating services with listings of goths all over the world, country and of course, in your area. A great examples of gothic dating websites is Goth Scene. Of course, you can also meet goth individuals on other, more broad social networking websites such as MySpaceand Facebook.

Effects
Goths tend to bond over many shared interests, such as style and fashion, social beliefs, political issues, movies, television and of course, most importantly, music. Many people (but not all) who join the gothic subculture tend to bond over feelings such as alienation, loneliness and isolation in society. So for those reasons alone, it might be a good idea to find a fellow goth to date. After all, it’s not as likely that a goth is going to have a lot in common with a football jock or someone equally different.

Expert Insight
A great way to bond with your goth significant other is by perhaps writing him or her gothic poetry, exchanging artwork, sharing books and taste in music and going out to a gothic club dancing are all fun ideas. Exchanging makeup products (pale foundation and dark eyeliner) or do each others make-up for a laugh!

Warning
It is also important to remember never to generalize. Goths are people just like everyone else. Not all goths are going to act the same way. Not all goths are necessarily going to like dark indie rock like Bauhaus and the Cure. Not all goths are going to like sad poetry and Anne Rice novels. If you want to snag your ideal goth special someone, just be yourself, act naturally and it should all fall into place. Good luck.