Right away, you know that this pairing has some inherent problems. Yes, it has a certain Goth-appeal to it, and who wouldn’t want to date an immortal? But you also know that it’s going to have that Romeo and Juliet “star-crossed lovers” thing going on. Here are some ways to navigate the tricky terrain of dating a vampire.

Step 1
Make sure your vampire date is the vegetarian type. After all, this is just a date, not how to become his eternal bride. If he gets his fangs into you, the dating is over and the wedding planning begins.

Step 2
Go Goth. Your vampire wouldn’t be caught dead, or undead, with a preppy type. Get into the right look and that vampire will be looking your way.

Step 3
Take an interest in your vampire’s undead life. The undead have a whole set of problems you never even dreamed of, like not being able to get a good tan. Be supportive when he’s feeling a little isolated. It isn’t easy being a vampire.

Step 4
Learn to get by on a lot less sleep. After sneaking out at midnight and staying up all night, you’ll still have to get up at 9 a.m. Deal with it. Get some extra makeup to hide those bags under your eyes.

Step 5
Tell your vampire he looks great, even when he doesn’t. Remember, your vampire date can’t see himself in a mirror. This makes for all sorts of difficulties in the grooming department.

Don’t tell a soul, living or undead about your vampire date. This just isn’t going to fly with the parental units. If they find out, you’re probably grounded until you’re too old to date. Besides, isn’t this part of the appeal?

Even though she’s clad in all black and adorned with skulls and spiders, a Gothic girl has a special place in her heart for romance. It takes a special touch and a special person to win a Gothic girl’s heart. Black candles and myrrh incense will help, as will these simple tips.

Step 1: Bring her dead flowers, or at least black ones. Most florists would be overjoyed to hook up a special order of a dozen black roses infused with grayish-blue baby’s breath.

Step 2: Plan romantic outings, like a picnic in the cemetery or an excursion out to an abandoned farm or condemned apartment buildings.

Step 3: Set the scene for a sexy evening by lighting black candles, myrrh incense and flipping on some deep, haunting cello music.

Step4: Write a dramatic yet heartfelt poem about how you’d die for her and how everyone should die, period.

Step 5: Offer to help with her chores, like picking up her vampire cape or eighteenth-century corsets from the dry cleaner.

Step 6: Accept her the way she is and love every minute of it.

Other special gifts include skulls, crossbones, bats and spiders. You can do well on post-Halloween sales to stock up on gifts to give her throughout the year.

Don’t pretend to be a Goth if you’re not comfortable with it just to appease her. But do convert if it feels right.

Let her be herself when she meets the parents.

Never make fun of her makeup, hairstyle or wardrobe.

Never try to change her.

Just because you aren’t Gothic doesn’t mean you can’t be with a guy who is–he’s just like anyone else. You may look at your girlie clothes and pretty hair and think there’s no way your Gothic crush would be attracted to you, but unless you try you don’t know for sure.

Be yourself. Don’t try to change your appearance or attitude to match what you think he’d like you to be. If he isn’t into you for who you really are, find someone else who is.

Approach him easily without coming on too strongly. Ask him what book he’s reading or what music he’s listening to–something to start a conversation. Casually say hello when passing him in the hallway or smile at him in class.

Find something you have in common, such as a class or a hobby. This gives you something to talk about while you get to know him, and gives you an excuse to be where he is, like the soccer court or record store.

Treat the guy as an individual, not just another stereotypical Gothic male who hates everything. Find out what type of person he is aside from the black nail polish and trench coat.

Ask him out. After you talk to him a few times and find out what he’s into, ask him to go to a concert or hang out at a favorite café or park. Meet him where he’s most comfortable, even if it’s with his entire group of friends, to make him feel less intimidated. Eventually you can bring him into your world too and see how you two work together.

Talk to him. Realize he’s just a person and just like any other guy. Don’t be afraid to just say hi and introduce yourself and see where it goes.

Avoid asking a guy out just because he’s Gothic. Get to know him as a person to find out if your personalities mesh well together.