Just because you aren’t Gothic doesn’t mean you can’t be with a guy who is–he’s just like anyone else. You may look at your girlie clothes and pretty hair and think there’s no way your Gothic crush would be attracted to you, but unless you try you don’t know for sure.

Be yourself. Don’t try to change your appearance or attitude to match what you think he’d like you to be. If he isn’t into you for who you really are, find someone else who is.

Approach him easily without coming on too strongly. Ask him what book he’s reading or what music he’s listening to–something to start a conversation. Casually say hello when passing him in the hallway or smile at him in class.

Find something you have in common, such as a class or a hobby. This gives you something to talk about while you get to know him, and gives you an excuse to be where he is, like the soccer court or record store.

Treat the guy as an individual, not just another stereotypical Gothic male who hates everything. Find out what type of person he is aside from the black nail polish and trench coat.

Ask him out. After you talk to him a few times and find out what he’s into, ask him to go to a concert or hang out at a favorite café or park. Meet him where he’s most comfortable, even if it’s with his entire group of friends, to make him feel less intimidated. Eventually you can bring him into your world too and see how you two work together.

Talk to him. Realize he’s just a person and just like any other guy. Don’t be afraid to just say hi and introduce yourself and see where it goes.

Avoid asking a guy out just because he’s Gothic. Get to know him as a person to find out if your personalities mesh well together.